Self-Validation, A Key Element of Confidence

Why self-validation is a key element of being confident?

Being confident should be a key element to live happily. Everyone attain confidence in a different way. A workaholic possesses confidence from the career achievement and the admiration of other co-workers. An experienced gamer acquires it through the superb gaming skill that could win almost every single game.

From these examples, one may observe that a person could gain confidence through the activities one enjoys doing. The more thing that one believes one can do, the more confidence one exert to surroundings. However, it is undeniable that some people are not confident, despite the superiority they possess, why does this phenomenon occur?

It is due to the lack of self-validation. a person’s self-validation could be triggered by other people. For instance, a guy believes that he is handsome if he has been confessed many times. A winner believes that he is capable of something after routinely awarded with prizes and certificates. However, how does one develops confidence without believe oneself?

One could start to change environment by doing new activities, meeting new people, or create a new project. As one could expect to obtain almost the same result by doing the same task, it is impossible to bring a change if one does not change the situation. By changing the action, one increase the chance to discover a brand new hobby/ability.

As one has developed a new hobby/ability, one will feel better by being more motivated to pursuing a hobby or develop an ability. Eventually, one could start to accept oneself. Sometimes the process of developing a hobby or master a skill takes some times and challenges. One will feel proud of oneself by accomplishing the challenges that one has.

Another solution is to start accepting weaknesses. Human as a holistic creature, strengths and weaknesses are available inherently in every single person. By accepting weaknesses, a person could be more self-aware. However, if one is over-focused on weaknesses, one could become pessimistic.

To conclude, if a person could be self-accepting in a positive way. One would not blindly believe that other people are better than oneself. By having a robust self-validation, it is tiresome for other people to challenge confidence. One could also be more peaceful to oneself and eventually, it will reflect in behavior to others.

“The more we believe and accepting ourselves, the more the world will be accepting ourselves.”

What action will you do to increase your self-validation?

A Delayed Gratification

One’s nature on delaying what one enjoy for the sake of a better future?

Human are social creature that tend to pursue a better life. Most people want to have a better life. A person with a better life is indicated by a better living standard, higher social status, and self-actualization. People often regret and being sad because fail to achieve objectives. There are various objectives that one wishes to achieve.

Some people will enjoy themselves on the things that they own. Imagine that one could enjoy oneself in a magnificent house, proudly owning a brand new phone and car that makes other people envy. It is more often one is not only pursuing physical items. As an emotional creature, everyone has different emotional needs and wants.

Because of the different emotional needs and wants, one often wishes to be validated by peers and society. Moreover, the presence of social media exacerbates the thirst of validation. In this society, there is an increase of needs compared to our ancestors, In particular, there is a shift from merely physical to emotional needs.

For one to obtain the needs, a number of challenges that one will face. For one to become a professor, one needs to sacrifice resting times t focus on research. Becoming a businessman, one needs to work more than 9 hours to develop a company.

It contradicts with the human nature of enjoying life in various ways. For example, going to a club and have fun with friends, shopping to fulfill desire, and resting easily because of the difficulty of work. From the above examples, procrastination and gratification will become the two most serious obstacles. Therefore, one needs to have the strength to delay gratification. However, how could one delay gratification?

Keep accountable and not giving up are two solutions for one to delay gratification. Being accountable, it means that one has a responsibility for oneself. By not giving up, one is fighting oneself inner will to procrastinate. By applying these solutions, one will be better in delaying gratification and eventually will achieve a better objective in life.

Accountability and persistency are the two main components of delaying gratification.”

What is your method of delaying gratification?

Productivity, A Matter of Habit

Some people could finish tasks faster with better results, how their ability is shaped?

Have you ever wondered? Some people are doing things very fast, neat, and having an outstanding result, whether in work, school, society, or public figures. One may feel that how does another could be always productive, is it because of their talent or because of other factors?

When one has done a task very fast with a good result. There are 3 main reasons: familiarity, mentality, and deadline. These 3 main reasons are inter-correlated. Regardless one has enjoy done their tasks or not, they are more likely trained to finish tasks in a relatively short time.

Familiarity on a Task

The familiarity on a task will reduce the time since one will clearly understand what to do when one has received it. Moreover, the human ability to find an easier way to finish it will improve productivity. The familiarity of a task is based on the prolonged period of redoing it repetitively.

Say No to “Procrastination”

“Want to go workout, just workout later. The homework deadline is next week, do it later”. Procrastination seems like a leisure way to defer the upcoming task. However, it is definitely a mindset that one tends to have but obstruct our life in future. It is usual for one to enjoy life. However, it is definitely not beneficial if the enjoyment will chronically bring hardship. Therefore, a mentality of not procrastinating is not only improving one’s productivity, but it will also guide one to have a better future.

Finishing Task Within Deadline

If a responsible person that has a lot of commitment, task, or deadline. He/she tends to prioritize them and try to actualize them within the target. Therefore, by making one busy until a certain extent, one will try to work hard and smart. When one can meet multiple deadlines effectively, that shows the ability for one to be productive.


Based on the three reasons, there is a cause of one to be productive, habit. A habit is an essential element for one to be productive. These habits can be formed under pressure, self-awareness, or even ambition. Regardless of the reasons, a person that sticks on what one wishes eventually will be productive and distinctive.

Habit, an essential element for one to be distinctive and productive.

What kind of habit do you want to form to be productive?

Self-Discipline, A Route Towards Freedom

Do you feel having more freedom by chilling, or doing something productive consistently?

After working in the weekday, the weekend is days when most looking forward. Because on this day, one can sleep until very late, one could also be meeting friends to hang out. Most can do things that they want and enjoy their life in a tiring weekday.

Some people want to enjoy in their room and doing nothing. In the end, they are either playing a game and watching a drama. On the same time, they are also thinking to have a luxury holiday and have a better life quality. It is a paradox that people tend to want to live in high quality, but the idleness will try to stop people on achieving it. Therefore, how to achieve it?

Self-discipline definitely will become a solution for one to achieve anything. To create a start-up, one may require to work 11-12 hours a day for years. A medalist needs to persistently train oneself in the rigorous condition in a frame of time. In short, to do something great, one needs to have a strong discipline.

However, a common problem is it requires strength and ability to withstand disappointment. To make outstanding products, one must get used the failing of creating a new product. Once one has strong self-discipline, one will take failure and hindrance as a lesson to learn.

Another issue is the difficulty for one to start a habit to be self-discipline., especially for people that have not benefitted from it. These people will tend to give up easily. Therefore, aim small to improve self-discipline, such as cleaning a room or dress up oneself. Once one has gotten the benefit, it is easier for one to continue.

Self-discipline requires a lot of action, which may reduce our freedoms, especially in terms of time. However, by ignoring self-discipline, one will lose one’s freedom even more. By compromising self-discipline, it will definitely regret in the future. Therefore, self-discipline indeed is a definite route for one to achieve freedom.

“A self-discipline requires strength and action, that will eventually lead one to freedom.”

What kind of freedom that you can achieve by self-discipline?

An Imperfect Competition

What could one benefit from an imperfect competition?

In this competitive society, anything can be compared in various ways. To benefit in a competition, one needs to find a way and strive. The more general the field is, the more competitive it is. Therefore, one could consider to distinguish oneself in it.

What is a novel field? A field that is not general and less known by people. A novel field has several characteristics: the less information of the general public, the overvalue or undervalue of the field, and imperfect competition.

Less Information

Competing in a new field is challenging because of the less information given. People may ignore a novel field because of the unpopularity and the lack of observation and speculation, although one could benefit from it. One could develop skills and keep the information as secrets to be better in the new field.

Valuation of The New Field

As in this sophisticated world, to satisfy people ambition and future needs. these fields are growing at a remarkable pace. Some new fields were created in an unimaginable scale. For instances, renewable energy, blockchain, social media, and some hybrid industries.

Some fields are certainly more useful than another in some ways. However, because of the uneven publication and stereotype of the public. Therefore, it will lead to the overvaluation of particular industries. With the hope of striving in a novel field and secure a good position, more people are flocking. On the other hand, there are still numbers of undervalued industries that ignored by people.

Imperfect Competition

Due to the less information and popularity in the field, some people will gather information and start earlier than most people. Also, the pioneer will form the gameplay. Therefore, it will be beneficial for the pioneer in the novel field.

To sum up, a novel field may sound unfamiliar. One needs to take the courage to try up, and it may not bring a reward that one wishes. However, by proper speculation and gaining insight on future growth, a novel field may be easier to compete.

“An imperfect competition will support the growth of a novel field, which will eventually improve the overall society.”

Do you have any novel idea that is potentially to become a field in the future? If yes, what is it?

Popularity and Potential, A Career Selection

Some industries are developing faster, does the development is due to the popularity or the potential?

When one has just graduated from school, some do not have a picture of their career paths. When money has become a need, choosing a career with a high wage or a popular industry becomes a tempting factor, People may not know what is the working world before step into it.

It is challenging to finding a clear career direction unless one has passion and plan. Two main factors that will blindly affect career choice: potential and popularity, where these two factors are often intertwined. The potential and popularity have incentivized the industry with high growth rate and high wages. As a consequence, it centralizes the talent from all of the worlds to compete in the industry.

There is a consequences when one does not prepare thoroughly from dive to the career and distinguish oneself. One is likely to produce the same outcome compare to colleagues from the same industry. Moreover, one may feel miserable and could not enjoy what they do. Don’t you feel miserable by doing something that you are not good at, especially when you do it without passion?

Therefore, it is not wise to choose occupation based on popularity and potential. Moreover, one should not choose it because of social opinion. It is hard to decide what to choose as there are options. Then, what are the parameter that one should apply for career choosing?

As everyone has different personalities, some are exceptionally well in executing specific tasks. Some people are good at leading, while the others are meticulous. With a variety of traits, some occupations are more suitable for one than another. If one could choose a career that is suitable for oneself. It will indeed increase joy in the work and become more dedicated in finishing the task.

If one does not know what to choose, choosing a career that suits our strength is also a wise option. When one was in high school, some are strong in some subjects, some are strong at sports, while the others are strong at hands-on stuff. From there, it could be an indication for choosing a future career.

To sum up, potential and popularity should not be the only option to choose a career, especially when personality and strength align with it. There is no point of working long term in the thing that one does not enjoy. With the proper selection, one could work in the career one desires.

Personality and strength provide a clear direction for your career.”

What kind of strength and personality that suits your future career?

Discount, Save or Spent?

When you spend your cash because of a discount, does it save your money?

Every day we are spending cash for items that we want, regardless we need it or not. When choosing an option, one is excited by seeing the discount on the item, especially in major events such as Single’s Day and Black Friday. Some will feel incredibly satisfied when they purchase the item due to discounts and crazy offers.

Some are aiming and waiting for the great sale because they could buy items at a discounted price. Especially in this period, one could buy some electronic appliances, clothes, equipment, etc. However, the other is also just buying because of believing that it was cheap and affected by the advertisement.

By buying things in discount, one will have the illusion that one will save a lot of money. In fact, most of us will spend more than on a typical day. There are several reasons for the occurrence of this phenomenon. Firstly, the initial increment in the price before the discount . Secondly, the public stigma that in some celebration days that the thing is cheaper.

Of course, not all products sold in the celebration event are as expensive as a typical day. However, indeed some products are sold in even a dearer price at the celebration event. It is one of the marketing strategy of companies to sell their products.

For instance, to purchase shoes with a price of $100. In usual, there is a buy one get one promotion. On a celebration event, there is a 50% discount promotion. In the end, one will roughly spend the same amount of cash. Therefore, consumers couldn’t save significantly by purchasing a discounted product.

In the general situation, one could say that some do not even check the item price beforehand. On a great shopping event, one could visit a shop and buy some products. One believes that the products are cheaper than usual, just merely because of intense advertisement by companies.

The outcome of irresponsible shopping is a shopaholic habit that will repeat as a cycle. Moreover, the money that one gains from hard work spent ineffectively. To indicate whether you spend it responsibly or not, you may see whether is there is any hoarding of the unused item inside your house.

Proper research on the price before hand is recommended to counteract this issue. Moreover, writing in the note of the item that one is going to buy. One should write it inside the note because our mind will frequently change if there is any external temptation. If you spend your cash attentively, it will significantly improve your money control effectively. Together, we can save more to spend our hard-earned cash into meaningful things.

“Spending your saving wisely so you can spend it meaningfully.”

After you have checked your room/house, any action that could improve your spending habit?

Comfort Zone and Danger Space

Is it better to stay within your comfort zone or expose yourself into space with uncertainty?

Humans are born in different conditions that vary with the periods occurred. Some are exposed to the challenging issue in longer terms, while the others are almost have a good day in their everyday life. People encounter specific problems with different duration. It leads to the shift of the mindset and reaction to resolve the issue.

Other than genetics, the reaction primarily is affected by imitating what one has learned from surroundings. It is relatively easier to solve problems that are faced before. One usually prefer to stay in the comfort zone rather than in the danger space. With the dwelling in these two different zones, what are the pro and cons of these two zones?

Comfort Zone

A guy that has a family as his support group will go back to his family whenever he encountered problems. Whenever he faced a problem in the , he will tell every issue that happened on the day. Doubtlessly, his family will support him with sympathy. He believes that his matters will be solved when he complained to his family. There are a countless number of situation can be called a comfort zone.

In the comfort zone, everything that one perceives is mundane, routine, and safe. One will not feel excited about what will happen. Everything is under control and achievable. It is the zone where one goes back when there is an unresolved problem faced in the outside world.

Danger Space

When a guy moves to another country to live, it is excited and adventurous. There are distinct differences in terms of language, culture, norm, etc. With this uncertainty, this guy needs to find a way to survive and assimilate into society. There is a lot of more extreme scenario in the danger space.

In the danger space, one will try to understand what is happened on the surrounding. Sometimes one fears to stay in this space and try to go back to the comfort zone. In this space, no one will help oneself, and one needs to figure out a way to overcome the challenge.

Among these zones, which zone is better for us to stay?

A Zone to Growth

The constant exposure of danger space may be beneficial to a person because it accustomed one to overcome the hardship. However, the overexposure will erode one’s ability to enjoy life. Moreover, when one overcome the problem, it may also lead to depression.

The overstaying in the comfort zone will lead one to stop growing because of the familiarity. It will inhibit one to re-think and do further action to improve oneself. As this world filled with problems and unknown, comfort zone itself won’t benefit one in the long run.

From the bright side, the danger space offers knowledge and experience. On the other hand, comfort zone provides a place for supporting one emotionally and make one feel safe. Therefore, a balance of danger space and comfort zone is required to optimize one’s growth.

“Keep explore and look back what have you done, and this is the beauty of the growing process.”

What can you do to balance your comfort zone and danger space?

Less Price or Better Quality?

Given that you have adequate money, will you choose better but expensive stuff or ordinary but cheaper stuff?

Currently, we are living in an era where we could buy almost anything in anytime. With convenience, one faces a myriad of option for purchasing things that one likes. With the countless option, one definitely has preferences on selecting which item to purchase. While multiple approaches are used for selecting products that result in different spending habits on people.

As a human tendency to enjoy a better life, a better item will apparently improve life quality. In terms of price and quality, expensive items usually will have better quality and vice versa. However, it does not apply to all things, such as luxury goods. These goods have little or no use, but to bring influence on the users social status.

However, not everyone has infinite cash to splurge and indulge. Conversely, most of us are only have an amount of fixed money from our salary that can be used to buy a finite amount of items for daily expenses. Hence, the cash that we spend on the goods we purchase will affect our life quality. Here comes a question, better to have fine goods that will cost more or save money by buying cheaper goods?

Wants vs Needs

Do you buy items because of your wants or your needs? There are a lot of unnecessary things that one purchases. Some have fallen into the illusion that by owning classy items will make yourself better, such as new clothes, phone, etc. However, the reality is the price that one pays is far less compared to the benefits gotten.

Some will blindly buy the brand new items because of the surroundings, and it will form habits. In other words, these people do not really know what they want, they are just following the crowds, with the fear to be excluded from their communities. If this situation happens, one will be struggling to determine whether it is a need or want.

Price-Function Comparison

Every day we face hundreds of products in various ways, where most products are known from advertisements. From advertisements, the products given are offered with benefits. It is very tempting to try the product, isn’t it?

It is OK to buy it if one could get the function and benefit with the money spend. Before one purchases the product, it is better to think about the benefit brought before the purchase. It is difficult for one to realize that one has analyzed thoroughly before any purchase. Therefore, one should engage a friend/family member to ask their opinion on whether the product is worth the price or not. But to take note, it’s useful when one asks the correct person.


It is totally up to you to buy a cheap thing or a good thing, as long as you has fulfilled your needs before your wants. Because when you blindly purchase for your wants before your needs, you will sacrifice your needs in the future. Moreover, careful analysis and friends that will stop you from buying unnecessary items will keep you financially healthy.

“Choose the thing that you own wisely, it will greatly affect your future.”

What are the things that you have regretted buying?

Taking for Granted

Do you take everything for granted?

As different people are born in different backgrounds, some are raised with different privileges. Some are equipped with smart brains that make them excel academically, while the others are attractive and likable that let them achieve anything easier. When one thinks that what one deserved to obtain anything without effort, it will lead one takes everything for granted.

There are some common examples that one has taking things for granted. Imagine when a parents has bought game consoles to their child every year, when there is one year the parents stopped buying the game. Finally, the child hates their parents because of it because the child thinks that he deserved a game console from their parents every year. Isn’t it very selfish?

Everyone is subconsciously taking for granted for what they have. The education that they have, the lifestyle that they enjoy, the effort that other people put on them, etc. By taking everything for granted, it will bring several negative impacts to one’s personality.

One of the most noticeable effect is one doesn’t grateful with what one owns. Usually one is not grateful because of the ease of obtaining what one wishes. If one works seriously and put in efforts to obtain what one wants, one will be more grateful and will not taking things for granted.

Moreover, another negative effect when one has taking things for granted is one will tend to disrespect to other people. For example, a spoiled rich kid may be rude to their servants and disrespectful to his servant. It may lead him to have a bossy and rude attitude when he grows up. After knowing the impacts, what should one do to change this mindset?

We could just start with a thank you for the good thing that happens in our daily life. For example, we could just say thank you to the people who voluntarily help us. From there, people will think we are not taking this for granted. On the other hand, we could also share some positivity to others. By grateful to being ourselves, it will lead to better life to everyone.

“Don’t take things for granted. Instead, be grateful on what we have. From there, it will lead to a meaningful life.”

What kind of action that need to be done so one will not taking things for granted?